July 6th, 2019, 10:06 pm
It’s so easy to hide under the covers again, and to hang limp, to let it all slide. Even though I know there is nothing to gain from treading that path. But I want to mute the feelings, in all their intensity. It is just too much.
All this talk about the importance of communication, and still I can’t move my lips. How else are the feelings, the hard limits going to be voiced? So upon that realization, yet another path got completely devalued.
I thought about the abstractness of personal borders as you struck me firmly with your strong hand, and again and again. The tingling sensation increased as you repeated.
I lack something fundamental and I don’t know where else to get it or how to proceed. I wanted this, right? Yes, I did. I fucking love when you show your strength and you make me feel so small. Is there something wrong with my brain? How did I get here? But I like this, don’t I? I’m so confused.
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