July 21st, 2019, 08:46 am
The earth spins and spins and all the while I just laid there, frozen solid and running circles in my mind. Unfolding every storyline in my head, inspecting them from a thousand angles. In a quest to find The Truth, but upon arriving at that place there was nothing there… I felt sick when I realized I’d been wasting all this time treading the wrong path. So many days lost. I just couldn’t continue like this.
So I threw off the blanket and got up. I picked up a marker and wrote SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE in capitals on my wall. I packed my bag and headed out. Walking the streets again felt strangely unsettling. I cancelled out the city noise by putting headphones in my ears, listening to Pink Floyd’s The Wall. As they sang to me I felt a deep resemblance. How hard can it be to break through a wall you’ve been solidifying for years. It is not so strange I stayed put in this cocoon of safety I constructed. In every step I took there was a confrontation with my past and present self. Still I continued walking.
What drove me forward I don’t know. Maybe there was simply no way of going back.
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